Sometimes in life, you come across a person in a terrible situation and initially feel a lot of sympathy for them. Then, as is often the case, it turns out that their predicament is at least partially self-caused, usually because they are horrible to everyone around them. Said person might tell you tales of woe, abandonment, betrayal, and loneliness, but it turns out that they've lied, cheated, stolen, and used up any goodwill that anyone had left for them. It's not that I necessarily find pleasure in unpleasant people ruining their own lives, but I do get a sense of solace. If bad things often happen to bad people who really do deserve it, then maybe it's possible to avoid really bad things by simply not being a terrible person.
For the most part, I think this is usually true. Unfortunately, even good people can and do end up in terrible situations through no fault of their own. I think about this often, especially in regard to two very good people I know: Caylan Ford and Amy Hamm.
In 2019, Caylan was running as a United Conservative Party candidate for Calgary-Mountain View. Before and throughout this period, she was the target of a sustained harassment campaign by someone who I can only describe as a malignant narcissistic sociopath—the kind of person who often destroys their own life, but not before trying to take others down with them. The campaign culminated in this person working with the New Democratic Party propaganda outlet Press Progress to publish a story that portrayed Caylan as a white supremacist terrorist sympathizer in order to derail her candidacy. It worked, and the entire Canadian media pathetically bought into it as well. Caylan resigned her candidacy.
Not long after, Amy started going through a similar ordeal. In 2020, she became the target of activists who sought to destroy her nursing career. Her crime was that she is outspoken about the harms of gender ideology and critical of the way predatory men can and have taken advantage of self-identification policies in Canada. Though she has never had a patient complaint, anonymous complaints resulted in a years-long disciplinary hearing with her professional regulator, who eventually found Amy guilty of “unprofessional conduct.” She was then fired from her career of 13 years.
What is so cosmically unjust about both of these cases is that these are two of the best people you could ever meet. Neither deserved either outcome. They were the targets of a mixture of personally malicious and politically motivated attacks bolstered by today's absolutely vicious cancel culture. Any good and obedient progressives who heard about either case gleefully jumped on board like rabid dogs, parroting that Caylan was racist and Amy was transphobic and that was the end of it. The level of shame those who took part in their cancellations deserve to feel is something I think few human beings would admit or allow themselves to feel.
The fact that Amy has been portrayed as an intolerant bigot who hates and fears trans-identified people—and by extension perhaps even gay people—is insane if you know her (or if you’ve paid any attention to anything she has ever said). She is, on the contrary, one of the most tolerant people you could ever meet. She actually embraces people’s real differences, not just superficial political identity labels. In particular, the contention that she would not treat trans-identified patients with respect is insulting, and even more so because it is coming from people who likely would disrespect a patient with different political beliefs. As they say: narcissistic accusations are often confessions.
The idea that Caylan is some kind of crude racist is equally insane and laughable. Have one conversation with her and you will be blown away by her thoughtfulness. Try to tell someone who has just met her that this woman has been accused of sympathizing with white supremacist terrorists and they will have a hard time believing you. I know; I have been in this position. It sounds completely absurd. The fact that her stalker and the sorry excuses for journalists over at Press Progress went after her, of all people, shows you that no one, no matter how admirably they conduct themselves, is safe from attacks motivated by narcissistic injury or political hatred.
The sad truth of both these cases is that you can be among the best of humanity and bad things can still happen to you, especially when you become the target of unstable and intolerant people.
But of course, this is not the end of their stories. Caylan has just concluded a three-and-a-half-month media defamation trial—the longest of its kind in Canadian history—with closing arguments scheduled for October. Amy has appealed her guilty verdict at the BC Supreme Court and filed human rights complaints against both the BC College of Nurses and Vancouver Coastal Health, her former employer. Both Caylan and Amy have gone on to do wonderful things and continue to speak about issues that are important to them. Both are moving on and moving ahead, and it is a testament to their immense strength of character.
But I don’t want to blithely say something sappy about how they both truly “won” in the end, because there were some very real and very impactful losses along the way. Both could characterize their lives at one or even many points as being totally destroyed. Both have had to deal with a level of psychological strain that I think few people can truly imagine. In fact, what they’ve had to deal with is something that some people don’t come back from. This, I think, deserves to be recognized, even as both have moved forward with so much grace that it makes the pain easy not to see.
So yes, it can be comforting to recognize that bad people often bring about their own misery. But it is a lot more meaningful to see good people get through the misery created for them by others and to stay good through it all. This is where our hope should lie: that we would be able to do the same.
Lovely sentiments about two of my favourite people. Could not agree more.