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Sufeitzy's avatar

Always eloquent but I’d calmly advise to evolve using gender. A substantial part of the writing is twisting in the shadow of a corkscrew to get around the fact that gender (intentionally) has no fixed meaning.

There are, however, true meaningful sex traits or features. I am gay. I prefer to have sex with men. Let’s use that philosophically.

For my sex, I’m chockablock full of masculine traits - decisive, aggressive, solitary at times, muscular, broad-shouldered, prominent you know what, hairy, not very emotional, the whole sheet. I look like the Santa Claus version of a pro-wrestler complete with deep voice and wry sarcasm.

I have an uncommon but not rare male sex trait (about 6% of the population) in that I am a man who prefer sex with men.

There are women who have unusual but not rare sex traits that are common in men, such nas stoic, assertive, interested in things not people, and so on.

I am a man with a variant sex trait for men. I have a gay variant male sex trait.

You could almost say, irresistibly so, that I have a female sex trait, attraction to men which is common in women, but women aren’t gay men. The relationship of a gay man to a male sexually is not the same as a woman to a man sexually. I don’t have sexual with men with the least thought about pregnancy. It’s arguably an unusual male trait, but not an assumed female trait. In fact there are classes of male sex among men called facultative homosexuality. I don’t thing men in prison have “female” traits.

Now we’re cooking.

So a woman who is stoic, risk-taking and assertive (common male traits) is a woman with variant or high variant sex traits - that’s all.

A man who likes sex with men, is highly verbal and social (common female traits) has variant or variant sex traits.

Important to me is that a woman who is “stoic” is not quite stoic like a man is “stoic”.

So:

I would say “they are high variant” or “have high sex variants” instead of “gender non-conforming”

It’s more accurate, since it speaks of sex, it doesn’t attempt to define someone in relation to another sex, and it only speaks of variant traits, not “conformance” which implies some doomsday social convention.

Most people in the world have dark hair and brown eyes. Some people have variants of that, blue eyes and red hair for instance.

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