I, too, am fortunate that I was a little sissy boy in the late 1950s and early 1960s and not today. Not only was I very blond and very pretty, I never exhibited typical little-boy behaviors of my era such as the compulsion to chase after balls and play other sports, roughhouse with other boys, fidget and be disruptive in class and idolize sports figures. I threw away my cap guns well before I was ten because I didn't like the violence they symbolized. My open minded mother bought me the Barbie doll I wanted so badly. I once put on a runway show on the dining table. My two Cub Scout merit badges were for my butterfly collection and for being able to sew on a button, boil an egg and iron a hankie.
It probably helped that we were living in a South American capital and was attending the British School there. My mother surely knew that if she'd sent me to the school for American expats I would have been a target of the little thugs in the informal gender police. As it was, except for one very unpleasant early scene on the school bus in which the children came up with a chant that told me I was a "little lady," I escaped harassment for being gender nonconforming. One of the jocks in my 6th grade class informed me I was a "pansy" when he paused in front of our house to observe me planting annuals with my mother, but it was a simple matter-of-fact statement (he was right, after all) and he never brought up the matter again. Thank you, Eddie!
Now, I never had any doubts that I was a boy and I knew even then that I was same-sex attracted. My fascination with Barbie had to do with the esthetic appeal and variety of her wardrobe. I wanted to dress Barbie, not be her.
However, since I was a very polite little boy who was quick to do what adults expected of me, it's an open question what would have happened had one or more of the authority figures in my life told me that boys are sometimes really little girls (and vice versa) and suggested that I explore my gender identity. I think I would have resisted.
As grateful that my understanding of my sex role and sex wasn't challenged during my childhood and adolescence, I wouldn't wish my closeted high school, college and law school years in the 70s on anyone.
The strangest thing for me to grasp is that is that any attempt to use our LG lived experiences as a defence against medicalizing and sterilizing children and youth (as you have done here) is shot down and, still, the anti-trans, TERF hater label is wielded against us by some of the most intelligent and compassionate people I know.
I spend a lot of time contemplating why this is. Is it internalized homophobia for some? Is it fear of having to admit that it was ethically wrong to allow this to happen and that irreparable harm has been caused? Are many afraid to speak out for fear of being attacked and shamed?
As more and more detransitioners and desistors are allowed to speak, my sense is it is going to blow and there’s going to be a lot of finger pointing for who bears responsibility for what as I see is a crime against humanity.
I, too, am fortunate that I was a little sissy boy in the late 1950s and early 1960s and not today. Not only was I very blond and very pretty, I never exhibited typical little-boy behaviors of my era such as the compulsion to chase after balls and play other sports, roughhouse with other boys, fidget and be disruptive in class and idolize sports figures. I threw away my cap guns well before I was ten because I didn't like the violence they symbolized. My open minded mother bought me the Barbie doll I wanted so badly. I once put on a runway show on the dining table. My two Cub Scout merit badges were for my butterfly collection and for being able to sew on a button, boil an egg and iron a hankie.
It probably helped that we were living in a South American capital and was attending the British School there. My mother surely knew that if she'd sent me to the school for American expats I would have been a target of the little thugs in the informal gender police. As it was, except for one very unpleasant early scene on the school bus in which the children came up with a chant that told me I was a "little lady," I escaped harassment for being gender nonconforming. One of the jocks in my 6th grade class informed me I was a "pansy" when he paused in front of our house to observe me planting annuals with my mother, but it was a simple matter-of-fact statement (he was right, after all) and he never brought up the matter again. Thank you, Eddie!
Now, I never had any doubts that I was a boy and I knew even then that I was same-sex attracted. My fascination with Barbie had to do with the esthetic appeal and variety of her wardrobe. I wanted to dress Barbie, not be her.
However, since I was a very polite little boy who was quick to do what adults expected of me, it's an open question what would have happened had one or more of the authority figures in my life told me that boys are sometimes really little girls (and vice versa) and suggested that I explore my gender identity. I think I would have resisted.
As grateful that my understanding of my sex role and sex wasn't challenged during my childhood and adolescence, I wouldn't wish my closeted high school, college and law school years in the 70s on anyone.
Another excellent article.
The strangest thing for me to grasp is that is that any attempt to use our LG lived experiences as a defence against medicalizing and sterilizing children and youth (as you have done here) is shot down and, still, the anti-trans, TERF hater label is wielded against us by some of the most intelligent and compassionate people I know.
I spend a lot of time contemplating why this is. Is it internalized homophobia for some? Is it fear of having to admit that it was ethically wrong to allow this to happen and that irreparable harm has been caused? Are many afraid to speak out for fear of being attacked and shamed?
As more and more detransitioners and desistors are allowed to speak, my sense is it is going to blow and there’s going to be a lot of finger pointing for who bears responsibility for what as I see is a crime against humanity.
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