One of the hallmarks of our time is an obsession with identity. Rather than simply existing and naturally carrying out the roles of life, many seek to identify with or identify as in an effort to truly know who they are. To a certain extent, this is natural. We all want to belong. Humans are no doubt tribal. But so many of us no longer find this identity in where we actually belong but rather where we
In a different Substack, I came across a comment by a straight man (in his lingo, "cis het") who was suggesting that cognitive dissonance and the fear of being considered a "poseur" keeps gay men from becoming heterosexual:
"I also suspect this is true of a lot of gay men and lesbians as well. That having gone through with coming out, being in a hetero relationship would make you somewhat of a poser."
"I also heard a reasonable argument that people who identify as gay are more likely to fully grasp their sexuality because they have put more thought into it than straight people who are essentially straight by default. On the other hand, people are really good at justifying their past decisions, especially costly decisions, especially decisions that you've announced to different people, so that may weigh in the other direction."
First, I asked him to cite reputable authority for his notion that what keeps gay men gay is the heavy burden of changing a central aspect of one's life after having made a huge personal and social investment in it.
Then I wrote:
"I don't know what circles you travel in, but the gay men I know don't get their wires crossed and talk about 'identifying' as gay. That terminology is a symptom of the gender identity fantasy that is infecting our society. I don't 'identify' as gay any more than I 'identify' as human."
"Many gay men, and I'm one of them, reject gender identity ideology. Furthermore, we want nothing to do with queer as an ideology, and we reject the involuntary affinity and allyship that's implicit in the monolithic 'LGBTQ' or the hegemonic use of the term 'queer' as a synonym for 'gay.' There are several reasons why it is not, but I won't go into that here."
"You're welcome to use any terminology you please, but bear in mind that in saying that people 'identify' as gay and using the term 'queer' when referring to gay men, you'll be causing offense, particularly to people who are members of my generation and older." [I'm in my late 60s.]
The foregoing is not intended as a criticism of the author. All he did was provide a clear and concise example of the attitudes and beliefs held by so many who see society in general and sex and sex roles through the lens of gender identity ideology.
This exemplifies the reality-distorting language and the distorted thinking of trans allyship. These are my views; I am not putting words in the mouth of the anonymous commenter. I believe it is safe to say that few if any gay men obey queer theory's mandate to queer themselves out of each and every identity they may embrace momentarily in their quest to destroy all norms involving sex and sex roles. That's what queers are said to do, at least the true believers. The gay men I met in the 80s are still gay today because they are gay, not because switching identities would be met with universal eye rolls by their college friends.
The notion that you can discover your 'authentic' self by opting for elective surgery and hormones and pronouns and narcissism is so patently oxymoronic on its face that I've wondered how people can parrot this language without noticing how idiotic they sound. If your idea of community mostly involves a narcissistic obsession with your genitalia, then I think that's a problem. In order to be who you really are--your authentic self--you need to go on hormones and have surgery, because a mistake was made and you were born into the 'wrong' body? If a mistake was made, when? At conception? At three months? After birth? And who, or what, made this mistake? God? A random universe? Not God, obviously, so the random universe gave you the 'wrong' body? How is that possible? Mind-boggling. Ugh.
Good reminder.
Identity as an a la carte process is the opposite of authentic.
Sometimes I wonder if gaming and social media opened up people's minds to a type of repatterning based on the ability to create your character.
Ratchet up the boobs, change the hair colour, you can be anything on the screen and the screen is real life.
In a different Substack, I came across a comment by a straight man (in his lingo, "cis het") who was suggesting that cognitive dissonance and the fear of being considered a "poseur" keeps gay men from becoming heterosexual:
"I also suspect this is true of a lot of gay men and lesbians as well. That having gone through with coming out, being in a hetero relationship would make you somewhat of a poser."
"I also heard a reasonable argument that people who identify as gay are more likely to fully grasp their sexuality because they have put more thought into it than straight people who are essentially straight by default. On the other hand, people are really good at justifying their past decisions, especially costly decisions, especially decisions that you've announced to different people, so that may weigh in the other direction."
First, I asked him to cite reputable authority for his notion that what keeps gay men gay is the heavy burden of changing a central aspect of one's life after having made a huge personal and social investment in it.
Then I wrote:
"I don't know what circles you travel in, but the gay men I know don't get their wires crossed and talk about 'identifying' as gay. That terminology is a symptom of the gender identity fantasy that is infecting our society. I don't 'identify' as gay any more than I 'identify' as human."
"Many gay men, and I'm one of them, reject gender identity ideology. Furthermore, we want nothing to do with queer as an ideology, and we reject the involuntary affinity and allyship that's implicit in the monolithic 'LGBTQ' or the hegemonic use of the term 'queer' as a synonym for 'gay.' There are several reasons why it is not, but I won't go into that here."
"You're welcome to use any terminology you please, but bear in mind that in saying that people 'identify' as gay and using the term 'queer' when referring to gay men, you'll be causing offense, particularly to people who are members of my generation and older." [I'm in my late 60s.]
The foregoing is not intended as a criticism of the author. All he did was provide a clear and concise example of the attitudes and beliefs held by so many who see society in general and sex and sex roles through the lens of gender identity ideology.
This exemplifies the reality-distorting language and the distorted thinking of trans allyship. These are my views; I am not putting words in the mouth of the anonymous commenter. I believe it is safe to say that few if any gay men obey queer theory's mandate to queer themselves out of each and every identity they may embrace momentarily in their quest to destroy all norms involving sex and sex roles. That's what queers are said to do, at least the true believers. The gay men I met in the 80s are still gay today because they are gay, not because switching identities would be met with universal eye rolls by their college friends.
The notion that you can discover your 'authentic' self by opting for elective surgery and hormones and pronouns and narcissism is so patently oxymoronic on its face that I've wondered how people can parrot this language without noticing how idiotic they sound. If your idea of community mostly involves a narcissistic obsession with your genitalia, then I think that's a problem. In order to be who you really are--your authentic self--you need to go on hormones and have surgery, because a mistake was made and you were born into the 'wrong' body? If a mistake was made, when? At conception? At three months? After birth? And who, or what, made this mistake? God? A random universe? Not God, obviously, so the random universe gave you the 'wrong' body? How is that possible? Mind-boggling. Ugh.